The Baby Whisperer

Before Rocco Boone was conceived I began reading some of the traditional texts.  I started What to Expect When You're Expecting and would read my baby app updates.  Quickly though, I noticed that I didn't fit in the traditional first time mom category.  I wasn't scared and paranoid about this little guy surviving.  I felt he was healthy from the beginning.  And once that first trimester passed, I was over all the worries those pregnancy books try to address.  On to sushi, deli meat, and the occasional beer or wine (gasp!).  Really, I felt great. My baby felt healthy.  Everything was good.  What did I need to expect from my expecting?  So on I went to thinking about childbirth and parenting.  A friend recommended The Baby Whisperer and I knew other moms had success with it so we started reading it in bed before going to sleep.  I got a few chapters in but quickly realized a lot of it directly references your baby so I decided to pick it back up once he was here.

Sleeping in the ring sling

Sleeping in the rocker

After only a few days in, we went back to the book.  Weeks passed and I kept trying to envision when we could implement any of the techniques from this book.  First we were to feed the baby, then have some activity, then put him to sleep.  Repeat.  Repeat.  And then everyone is happy.  I tried so hard to wrap my head around this routine.  It didn't fit with what we did at all.  My baby loved (loves) to lay skin to skin.  When Rocco Boone is sleepy he cuddles and nurses and all the oxytocin starts flowin' and he is soothed into a peaceful sleep.  If he really needs it, he stays asleep.  If not, it's a little comforting nap and then awake he pops and moves on with his day.  I can't imagine trying to keep him awake during that time.  I don't want to keep him awake.  Watching his blinks grow longer and longer as he lulls to sleep is a wonderful feeling.  For both of us.  And somehow I felt bad for not following this lady's directions.  For some reason, I felt bad for when and how my baby slept.  See, Rocco Boone came home with Jason and I.  So naturally, at least to us anyway, he started to follow our schedule.  From the beginning, he went to bed around midnight and woke up around noon (with as many feedings as he needs in between).  So if I need it, I can get just about 12 hours of sleep a night.  That pretty damn cool.  Because if you know me, I love me some sleep.  Something I don't love is waking up early.  But why?  Why do I feel at all embarrassed of his schedule?  His schedule is perfect for me, and for him, and for our family.

Sleeping in the sprout sling

Sleeping at the pool

Sleeping in the rock and play

Sleeping on the boob

And just as he was about to turn 5 months, I started thinking about how he goes to sleep.  Again with the cuddling, and nursing, and hormones and all that.  But to be fair, when he's with Jason, he goes down just as well with his cuddling, and a bottle, and all the papa love.  But back to me feeling guilty.  I wondered if I was creating a totally dependent child (isn't that what babies are supposed to be?).  And then just like that... Rocco Boone started showing small signs of self-soothing.  Lately when he's napping he'll wake up, look around, and fall back to sleep on his own.  No screaming, no begging for a boob.  And I'm so proud.  It didn't take me scheduling anything or training him to.  It's all just occurring naturally.  

Sleeping in his car seat

Sleeping at the bar

Sleeping on the floor

Sleeping in a tent

So here's what I've learned about baby sleep.  No, here's what I've learned about babies.  Just when you're questioning yourself and wondering how much you've screwed up your little one, cause yes for sure, you know it's all your fault.... they grow a little.  Time and growth have fixed every problem we've had.  But on the flip side, it seems that every time you're onto something and the ride is so smooth, the routine gets flipped on its head.  Everything changes and you're right back where you started.  I guess what I'm saying is, don't worry so much.  He's eating, he's sleeping, he's growing, and he's happy.  And he'll be that way tomorrow and the next day. 

Sleeping on the beach

Sleeping in his crib

But really?  F the Baby Whisperer and her crazy schedule.  My kid knows how to sleep.

Sleeping in his bassinet

The Return?

Motherhood has me walking on clouds.  No, seriously.  This is the greatest thing I've ever done.  Everything you ever wanted out of life comes with a kid.  I get to smile, cry, cuddle, talk, listen, run, rest, explore... every single day.  It's also the hardest thing I've ever done.  This boy needs me all. the. time.  But then I love that.  He needs his mama.  And I'm there for him.  I swoop in and he snuggles into my neck or goes for my breast (usually the case) and all is right with the world.

I think about writing here all the time.  I want to put my thoughts down in this space.  I just want to put my thoughts out there.  For me.  For him.  For moms.  For the world.  I want to collect my thoughts, and the crazy swirling daily emotions, because I need it.  I need to slow down.  I need to remember.  Or maybe it's not about one day reading this and remembering anything.  It's more about the present.  What do these days mean?  What do I think of this boy?  What the hell am I doing with this life we've created?

My days are full of thinking in opposites.  I feel like being a mom, being a family, is the easiest thing I (we) have ever done.  We melded into each other and our roles flowed from the first days together.  J and I have created the coolest little boy and therefore we are one hip family (ha!).  But really, the physical pain of birthing that boy out of me backwards (and the many, many weeks of healing) was so much greater than the struggles we have now.  Then something will happen and I am reminded, this is the hardest thing I've ever done.  And that labor and childbirth shit, that was nothin.  Cause being a family is hard.  Being on the same page is hard.

Our struggles and pain are different than I could have ever expected.  I question myself every day.  All the time really.  I feel so confident in my thought processes, decisions, and choices.  Then something little (a look from someone, a cry from RB, a tired mama) and all hell breaks loose.  My head runs quickly, wondering if I'm right, if someone else is more right.  And that's when I notice that the easiest of times, the best of times, are the Koch Gregory times.  Just the three of us.  No time tables.  No expectations (except to have fun).  And we are just who we are.  We wear less clothes.  Cuss a lot more.  Laugh a lot more.  Take endless photos.  And we are us.  But we don't want it to just be the three of us.  We love our family and friends and want to spend our days with a lot of people.

And that's when I realize that we will always struggle with these choices.  It is just preparation for more of what's to come.  We are going to have to choose the hard road a lot.  Because it's totally worth it.

These rambles are hopefully just the beginning of me coming back to this place and putting it all down.  Because it feels good.  And I deserve a space to do that.

Enjoying Rocco Boone's first trip to Lake Michigan.

Seriously, this boy is so much fun.

My sweet boy.

The best decision we've ever made.

Things we Love - health and wellness

This is my list of must-haves for Rocco Boone.  I'm sure if we have another baby this list will change.  But these items were all mama recommended or gifts so I know that they work for many people out there.  And they made life so much easier for us.


Colic calm
RB suffered from belly aches and gas (not reflux) for the first couple months.  It was sad.  We tried all different things but Colic calm worked the best.  Its black color stained our cloth diapers and some clothes but everything came clean after a couple of washes.  Seriously best product ever.

Probiotics
I also attribute his belly getting better to probiotics.  I was taking some but noticed a change when we started giving him his own.  I also think his belly just needed time to develop and mature.  We now use probiotics moreso for immune issues and really don't need the colic calm anymore.

Nosefrida
Seriously.  Who doesn't want to suck snot out of their baby's nose with a straw?!  This is best used in combination with saline spray.  Wet their noses and then suck it out.  It's as rewarding as popping blackheads.

Angel baby shampoo and body wash
This was a gift from my friend Kate and she was right.  This makes your baby smell so yummy.

Earth Mama bottom balm
This comes from the same people that make the baby shampoo but it's for post-partum mamas.  The menthol is so cooling and feels even more awesome than witch hazel.  I kept it in my purse for when we were out and about.

Angelcare bath seat
RB & I took baths together for about the first month.  I just held his little, limp body the whole time.  Once he got a little bigger I decided we needed something to lay him in.  We still use this bath seat, it's just so cozy for him.  It also helps me when we're home alone and take a bath, I place him in the seat on the floor all wrapped up in his towel while I finish cleaning up.  

Sprout pouch
This was also a gift from my friend Kate and I don't know what I would have done without this sling for the first couple of months.  RB and I both loved this thing.  We don't use it anymore but it was essential for the infant stages.  There are also a ton of other slings on the market that work just the same as this one.

K'tan
Best carrier ever.  I'm so happy we found the k'tan.  I really wanted something we could both wear that was easy to put on and I could just throw in the diaper bag.  It secures babies just like the moby but there's no wrapping long pieces of fabric.  RB and I still use it a lot.





















GDiapers
I had no idea where to start with cloth diapering but G diapers made the process so much easier.  When we're out and about, I usually throw a disposable insert in and just toss them.  But when we're home we use a cloth insert.

Charlie Banana Disposable Inserts
The G diaper disposable inserts seemed a bit rough whereas these ones are lined in bamboo and super soft.  Totally worth it to me.  We buy all of our Charlie Banana stuff at Target.

Charlie Banana Reusable Diapers
These diapers are our favorite of the traditional cloth diapers.  They seem a lot more comfy and form well to the body than our Bum Geniuses.  We usually use these as nighttime diapers and the G diapers during the day.  If you've ever thought of cloth diapering, just try it.  It is so much easier than I ever expected, and this is coming from someone who rarely does her own laundry.

Charlie Banana bamboo liners
With any cloth diaper it can be nice to add these liners that wick the moisture away from baby's skin.  They are super soft and can help, especially at nighttime.

The woombie swaddler
Jason did a lot of reading on the 5 S's before we had the baby.  It was so nice that J was prepared with soothing techniques once he was here.  We tried different swaddle types and when he was an infant, the tighter the better.  But as he got a little older, it was nice to be able to just zip into this one and let him still move his arms around a bit.  We also got the breathable fabric since this kid is always so hot.

moooo

Of course I think my child is incredibly smart.  Advanced, as Julie would say.  So I need to mark the day I believe he said his first word.  Yes, it's true.  My four, almost five, month old talked last week.  He's been doing so well with mimicking sounds he hears.  And last week, while playing in his exersaucer, he hit the button that says, "moo."  And right away, Rocco Boone copied, "MOOOO."  Because he's a genius.  Kinda like when he farted today and immediately made raspberries with his mouth.  Genius, I tell you.