Reading in bed

J started reading us Where the Sidewalk Ends before bed.  I smile and tear up, of course, at the thought of us three lying in bed at the end of the day.  Listening to Papa read us silly poems feeling like a family.

Papa's work

I came home from work to find this...

 Carpet was torn up to expose the wood floors.

 J was setting up The Crib.

Nothing sexier than a nesting man.

Appleseed

It took one week.  One week to make this real.  To believe this baby is here and healthy and will be ours.  This thing inside of me is developing a spine and ear canals and heart chambers.  And is the size of an appleseed.  What a beautiful vision, our Appleseed.  The little cramps in my belly remind me our baby is there.  Already stretching out and making room, preparing my body for my first motherly role.

Father's day

 

This year's father's day was a really special one. 

 It felt so right to be able to give J a gift from our baby.  He was so excited, he asked for one in his size too.  Already ordered. 

 He's going to be the best papa I could have ever envisioned for our child.

I thought I knew what type of man I wanted to have a child and parent with.  And he has shown me so much more.  He has already taught me so much and I plan on it only getting better.  Love my man.

*The shirt J's wearing and the onesie are from Skreened.com.  It's an awesome tshirt company that lets you custom make shirts for cheap.  J really likes them because they print on American Apparel shirts, so they come feeling soft and worn.

All planned out

J and I had been talking about it quite a lot.  We talked baby names, got fertility boosting vitamins for both of us, used some at home fertility tests, discussed getting healthy.  I questioned if I was able to get pregnant or if I was able to sustain a pregnancy.  I was scared of being hurt again.  I even changed my diet completely and lost fifteen pounds.  We would start trying in August so our little one would have their own birthday month, maternity leave would be during our summer breaks.  I had it all planned out.

Then four days past ovulation, I feel it.  Tender breasts, slight cramping, even a bit of nauseousness.  It was different than every cycle I've experienced.  Something is different.  But is it even possible?  It's way too early to feel this way.  A week passes and I'm still feeling this way so I take a couple of tests.  A faint line appears both times, not enough to show J though.  He would probably squint and make me question the faintness even more.  So I let more time pass.  I try to enjoy myself and not put too much though into it.  Finals week begins at school and I decide to take a test, the fancy kind.  Digital, with no ambiguity.

There it is.  In between applying eye concealer and some bronzer - Pregnant.  I leave it right there on the shelf above the sink.  I make some coffee.  J comes into the kitchen looking a bit confused.  We both saw the word Pregnant but had very little response.  I don't think it's shock.  It didn't feel real.  It's still early.  Who knows if it will last?  Throughout the week I took more tests.  Test after test came back positive.  Yep.  I'm pregnant.